First of all this is my introduction and response to this thread. My name is Kevin Cline. Im 30 years old and I'm a single dad, christian, gay male. I grew up in foster care but im still close with my mom. I own and operate my own business and started a non profit. I have served on boards. ran for political office twice. been to college several times and now trying to finish up online. I love all people despite feeling, growing up, that humanity turned its back on me and my mom. I rarely get angry and when i do, I let it go quickly. I love to sing. I love computers. great finds at garage sales and craiglist. Movies that make me cry and good food. Im also urinary and bowel incontinent and this has been part of who i am since birth or in regards to technical incontinence and how its diagnosed, since I was old enough to have supposed to achieved continence.
My site talks a lot about the hows and the whys but to sum it up: I was born drug addicted, was cut off from O2 during delivery because of a wrapped umbilical cord and suffered some skull fractures during the very eventful birth. I was born with and had seizures until late child hood. Showed and still show symptoms of mild cerebral palsy. went through periods of incarceration at children's hospital because id wake up and couldn't walk. severe night terrors which eventually became a non rem sleep parasomnia. Learning issues, problems concentrating. walking on my tippy toes. SPD a sensory disorder, extremely tight rigid muscles(hypertonia) in my legs and arms and trunk) kidney issues, urinary system dysfunction and bowel dysfunction. I don't get warning I need to urinate or defecate. I also deal with urinary reflux. Both my urinary and bowel sphincter muscles don't operate like they should and so that ads to it too. I often compare my voiding abilities as being on an automatic timer. I cant time it. there is no rhyme or reason to when i relieve my self. it just happens. from a young age, diapers where the choice and that is what I have used ever since. Life was hard for me until i learned to accept it and reach an age where my friends where not kids who'd tease me blind. Even today i still experience some sad situations where the other person could have handled things better but over all most people are nice about it if they find out. I used to be ultra sensitive and would constantly look for ways to hide that I had to wear diapers or deny it if asked. Now a days, I have reached a point where I'm okay with this.
being a dad has its challenges of course but i sum it all up as this: I may not be able to teach her to go potty by example but i can teach her how to be a wonderful person by example and that is all that matters.
I guess for most people. incontinence strikes later in life and so you lost something. for me I was essentially born with out continence in the first place and so i had to grieve when kids or people reminded me either on purpose or by accident that what i wore around my waist wasn't normal. Your lives where changed when you lost continence and mine well this is what i have always known. its like a person born with out sight vs some one who loses it in life or same with complete hearing loss. My life was certainly different and still is but it never really changed except when I learned to accept that my issues would never get better and that diapers would have to be my best friend. parents learn and get luvs. I learned and got my self.