I was born on Monday October 4th, 1982. I came into this world drug addicted and with plenty of problems including: kidney problems, urinary reflux, undecended testicles, hernia, brain damage from apoxia, neurological problems including seizures, broken bones and skull fractures from the difficult birth, bladder/urinary system and bowel anal muscle malformations. I eventually developed SPD, a sensory disorder, Hypertonia, reflux and several times ended up at childrens hopsital due to waking up and being all of a sudden, unable to walk. Many of these issues continue to this day.
The doctors at the hospital I was born at warned my mom that I may never achieve bladder or bowel control. My mom did spend some time trying to help me achieve this traditional milestone of childhood but it never came. I cant control either one to this day. I cant feel when I need to go pee or poop and both my urinary sphincters and my anal sphincters open up when ever they feel like. When I was younger I switched back and forth between pull ups and diapers but as an adult, more for comfort and dignity of preventing leaks, I wear diapers, solely.
At the Age of 6 I entered foster care and I didn't leave until I was 17. During these years I was in over 20 different homes and as many schools. While a few of the homes were pleasant most were downright scary and I suffered physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. I was constantly teased about having to wear diapers. that teasing came from other kids there at the home but it also sometimes included a foster parent or another adult in the home. Yes even though I had no control over what was going on with my body, I was still tormented and teased. Needless to say, foster care was a horrendous time in my life but I never let it define me. I knew that god put me on earth for a reason and that I had value and that I mattered. I could have been a statistic but I didn't. I eventually go my GED and have been to college several times. Im going back soon and have dreams of becoming an attorney.
Becoming a dad and present day-
My daughter Joy was born on January 13th, 2009 and it was the best day of my life. I did eventually become a single dad and have raised my daughter on my own since she was an infant. Being a dad, I must say, is the best gift god gives men and it saddens me that some men choose to forgo this wonderful responsibility. I enjoy it 100% and look forward to every day as she grows up. Joy is 4 years old, loves every body, always smiles, loves her baby doll, loves to eat and loves to mimicking how I carry out my dad responsibilities from talking on the phone to, her having her own grocery sack when he grocery shop, to how I get stern, to how I kiss her boo boos or comfort her when she is sad. The foster care system breeds a lot of bad things in society often times resulting in generational sorrow, but I must say that any cycle started before me ended with me and my daughter is truly a JOY.
TODAY- I'm a dad of course. Im preparing to go back to school, dreaming about my next run for political office(im one of those crazy Libertarians), enjoying working ffrom home, taking care of my mom who is Ill and needing a lung transplant, I love card playing, browsing online, free lance writing, my ebay store, modeling, singing, reading and collecting books, especially old books. plays, musicals, opera, good movies, Ellen DeGeneres and Oprah Winfrey.
Parting Shot- There are many things taboo in society but somethings really shouldnt because it really can affect people to deal with things alone. having any sort of disability is tough especially if its invisible or semi invisible like incontinence. There is the in crowd in adult society and the outcasts. People like me with disabilities have to fight really hard for our own dignity and acceptance in a world that targets and holds down people who are different. Pitty and pats on the head are not inclusion. I hope that this site and blog can help spark conversations about human imperfection and how humanity can be can say on a pedestal that people with disabilities like incontinence are welcome but in the same breath be so cruel.
OMG! DIAPERS! RUN!